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CWB Member Blog Highlight

Why Having it all and finding balance is Bullsh*t


By Suzanne Lively

Instead of trying to have it all, could women choose happiness instead?  Imagine a community of women putting happiness first.  Sound like a fantasy? 

I created my company, Lively Friends, because having it all, for me, has included scenes like these:

• Moments of deranged parenthood when my strangled voice went up an octave because my preschooler wanted to dance instead of putting on her boots

• Nights guzzling power drinks so I could stay awake to meet a deadline, despite, knowing the drinks give me yeast infections

Most women, especially entrepreneurs, could add their own stories of insanity to the above list. 

Having it all really means all the stress, frustration, and exhaustion you can’t handle.

Part of my mission, and the focus of Lively Friends’, is grounded in lessons from Bronnie Ware.  Bronnie worked in palliative care and consistently heard dying patients talk about the same five regrets:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard

3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier

Lively Friends’ signature program incorporates these lessons.  A part of the program includes having members perform good deeds.  This is the quickest way to feel a shot of happiness.  The size and scope of member’s initiatives depend on their interests, creativity, and passions. 

My passion project is raising money to buy Diva Cups for low income women and women living in poverty.  The campaign is called Friendly Divas []. The goal is to raise $15,000 by December 31, 2017 to purchase 500 Diva Cups to be distributed to low income women in HRM.

The menstrual cups will be distributed by: Adsum for Women and ChildrenAlice HousingBryony HouseDartmouth Family CentreElizabeth Fry SocietyPhoenix YouthShelter NSStepping StoneSUNSCAD, and YWCA. A $30 donation buys one Diva Cup, giving dignity to one woman. Donation receipts will be given to businesses who buy 10 diva cups or more. 

Do you have passion project? Lending a hand increases our happiness, and being of service to others adds meaning to our lives. 

Let’s change the paradigm: Instead of trying to have it all, let’s put our health and happiness first; both our own, and that of others.

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